Here is the dank and dreary that soon will be warm, inviting, and super cool

(hey if you have any ideas on how to accomplish the warm and super cool look let me know!)

So this is the basement space. The floor is going to have the wood laminate inter-locking pieces over it because we worry whether the tiles may have asbestos and better safe than sorry (plus they are a hideous green and brown and white). Other than that well all we know is the mildew must go and the paneling must be painted! My poor husband everytime I convince him to go with a certain color scheme I change my mind, it is pretty bad, I would be starting to think it was intentional if it was me (it isn't unless it is subconcious)

Just threw in the picture of the mildew, because well whose day is complete without seeing a little basement mildew.

Kat

Busy, busy, busy

I can't wait for August 28th, my assistant manager comes back from maternity leave 1 week early (God Bless Her) on that day. I always appreciated her and thought she did a great job, but let me tell you almost two months without her now, and she is getting some big appreciation vibes from me!! You truly don't appreciate what you have until it's gone. The past two weeks have just been one thing after another in the house I manage and I feel like I am juggling 10 different balls and that if I dropped two very important ones I would probably not notice!

Then if I am not working, worrying about work, or taking care of my daughter, we are working on converting the dank and dreary basement into our cozy and welcoming space at Nana's! Which while it does have its elements of fun...is a lot of work! We had big plans for this weekend to get the bleaching of the ceiling and priming done. And to get the sanding of the trim on the paneling done to prep it for painting. Babysitting arranged for the weekend as bleach and primer and paneling dust aren't the best additives for 2.5 years old. SO this morning I am taking a shower (no it doesn't get more interesting now), I am shaving my leg and my whole lower back starts spasming out of nowhere! I am getting old I used to injure myself doing athletic things, now it is basic hygiene that does me in. So kaput, arrrgggghhhhh, I can't be out of work it just isn't plausible whatsoever, I can't not do the basement, arggghhhhh why does the universe hate me!!!!!

Ahhhhh I feel much better, if you got through that much whining kudos to you!
Kat

Another year over, a new one just begun....

I just turned 31! Thanks to my Mom and Dad who got me here and got me here in comfort and style LOL, I don't know what I would have done without them, nor do I care to find out. I am definitely one of the lucky ones, I don't say that in a snide way, it really is in an appreciative way. My problems are of my own making, my own maladjustments to society, my own mistakes, I was given more gifts than the majority of the planet and I will be forever grateful. I will also continue to speak for those who don't have even the gifts I have presently. My husband and I choose to work in Human Services, we make enough to get by, but not much more. We are always a catastrophe away from disaster in the sort of eviction, except we have family that wouldn't let it happen. We have never in our adult lives had to rely totally on family for a bill, but the loan for a few weeks has always been there. The assurance that my daughter no matter what will never live in a car or go hungry, it is always there. I can see how close to disaster others are due to how close I am in a sense, but I don't live the real fear. It is fabulous I have a support system, but if I didn't? Is my family therefore categorically lazy and unworthy of help. There but for the grace of my family go I, in all seriousness and many people's families are seriously lacking in the grace department!
Well that is what I have to say on today my birthday other than...

I am more blessed than so many, I am born in the US, I have a voice if I have the courage to use it, my family has the love and devotion and the resources to keep me and mine safe no matter what, I have my health, my daughter has blessed my life beyond measure, my husband rocks, well you know what I am going to stop being so freaking miserable and difficult to deal with. Life is good and it has been better to me than most. It is time to live that reality. So I go with God's Speed into my 31st year, look out I have things to accomplish.
Kathy

Major life changes afoot

So we will be moving in with my Nana-in law sometime in the next few months. Whenever we can get the addition of a bathroom in the basement complete we will move. So many things are running through my head.

To start off I love Nana. She is such a strong woman who has seen so much and has such a beautiful heart and soul. I don't question at all moving in with her on any real basis. She will be 90 this September and is still sharp and doing everything for herself. There is no particular reason for us to move in, she is just slowing down and she and the rest of the family feels better to have someone there. I feel blessed that our life circumstances allow us to do this for her. I really feel that someone who has raised a family and done their best by them and worked hard their whole life deserve the dignity of staying in their own home for as long as they wish and is at all practical. I wonder somewhat if maybe our bad strokes of luck, the high housing prices, things have led up to us being able to do this for Nana. Led to my daughter being able to get to really know her Gigi and for her Gigi to get the full blessing of her first great grandchild. We gave our daughter Nana's middle name. Mikayla took it upon herself not long after she first started talking to name herself as her middle name. She is Mikayla Rose, and she will tell you in only the way a 2.5 year old can set you straight that she is Rosie. I can't help but wonder if it is a greater purpose at work, something behind the scenes (mind you I have no idea what is behind the scenes, I just think there is something there LOL), that set things in motion for this. So it is a goodness in our lives....

But it is a worry too as all things there are two sides of the coin. We will be living in another adult's house, and that is huge. This other adult is about to be 90 and has a few opinions about life, the universe, and everything. She also isn't particularly averse to sharing them with you bluntly! I worry, how will I adjust to relinquishing some control. And the loss of privacy for me and my husband and my daughter and God yes for Nana who has lived alone for over 20 years!! It will be an adventure.

I am glad I have decided to let myself speak here, I feel a bit more collected about this. It shall be an adventure. I think our culture often lacks in the inter-generational bonds and the teaching the respect for the elders who deserve it to our youth. I think we lose a lot of knowledge and repeat unneccesary lessons sometimes because we don't listen to the old people in our society. They have lived through the same crap as we are seeing today though it was packaged differently when they were our age... They have had an extended amount of time in retirement to figure out what all that crap meant, we should pay a bit more attention, they have some wisdom to share whether we agree with their conclusions or not. I see some room for love and gifts to my daughters spirit that can't be measured and she may not specifically remembered, but will serve her well. Hey if anyone is interested google What Did you Do in the War Grandma? My grandmother was the centerfold with me LOL! It was the best English project EVER. We interviewed women about their experiences during WWII and learned about oral history from University professors. I was the only one who interviewed my Grandmother. I didn't like my English teacher much (I have since reconsidered LOL) but she gave such a huge gift to me, I would never know those little tidbits I learned about my Grandmother. I highly reccommend if anyone has elderly grandparents or parents left that you intentionally interview them, you will be amazed at the results!!
Tata for now and thanks for reading,
Kat

playing in the rain

Ahhhh...the beauty of having a child when you pay attention. She asked to go outside...but it was 7 pm and it was pouring and well I was busy. But I decided well she needs to break free from constraints as much as I do so I would follow her lead. Life had been soooo stressful for me for the past few weeks, and fun was a word that seemed meant for other people. But we both had so much fun!!!!! We jumped in puddles, we drank the rain...we were kids together.

new to the world of baring the soulor even the frivolous to strangers...

Hmmm I am not quite sure why I am here, my husband suggested it a time ago, and I am not even quite sure I will let him know of it's existance...blush Harlen if I decide to later...

My world for the past 7 years or so has seen surreal, almost like someone else who knows better is pulling the strings. I may often be tempted to say the string puller doesn't know what the hell he/she is doing and is perhaps possibly sociopathically deranged, but I hold back because well...because someone other than I pulled the strings for Mikayla Rosie. She is the world, her smile lights up my day, but I never would have thought of planning her on the day she was conceived. Yet to think she wasn't planned, I don't believe in pre-destiny, or much dogma, but people like Rosie at 2.5 years, Martin Luther King Jr, Mother Theresa, Ghandi, Bob Marley, and Crystal well they are all food for my soul. There someday will be peace. I don't know how. I don't know why. But people have said it shall be so and I believe them. I believe the people who speak from the soul when it isn't safe to do so. Everytime it happens and it resonates that person speaks of peace and forgiveness. I can't claim to be a pacifist. I am leaning towards it but I can't claim their banner fully. But when I fear for the mortal soul, my own, my families, my countries, humanities, I never ever worry that we may not have made enough money yet, or we may not have fought hard enough in war, I worry about other things. I do worry for our souls, and I don't believe in Hell. But I do believe we all go down or rise together, and I do think we are really really lost and confused.

I don't know I hope I use this as a place to let myself sing, we shall see....

Peace in our lives, may it not be just a dream,
Kathy

A little patience, and we shall see the reign of witches pass over, their spells dissolve, and the people, recovering their true sight, restore their government to its true principles. It is true that in the meantime we are suffering deeply in spirit, and incurring the horrors of a war and long oppressions of enormous public debt. If the game runs sometimes against us at home we must have patience till luck turns, and then we shall have an opportunity of winning back the principles we have lost, for this is a game where principles are at stake."
From a letter of 1798, after the passage of the Alien and Sedition Acts.