5 weeks ago I started my dream job. I went through college with 2 small kids to raise. I worked my ass off and all I wanted was a job in the hospital, preferably RI hospital. My work had paid off, it was mine. The first week I felt overwhelmed. The second week I felt nauseous about not only my lack of competence for what I was expected to do, but at the reality of being a hospital nurse. Week 4 I finally started to come to an internal peace over it all. Competence was slightly above minimal, and there was a light though one that looked a whole hell of different than the one I expected, but acceptable.
I was a bit worn down but working towards a positive view, holding onto it with the whole ungodly white knuckle feeling. Biggest mantra was I have a job, and will be able to breathe financially in a few months.
Cue this morning…
My alarm goes off, I hit snooze as always (I set it for 15 minutes earlier than I absolutely must get out of bed) I then woke up 50 minutes after I thought I had hit snooze when my husband nudged me and said “Hun, don’t you have to go to work?”. I admit my shallowness…I was annoyed and thought WTF, 50,ass, I just hit snooze, you are interrupting my 10 minutes of sleep..grrrr. Looked at my phone, it was actually 50 minutes later and I had exactly 6 minutes to go from groggily looking at my phone in my warm bed to being physically driving to work to even have- a chance at being on time. My pre-planning of having everything laid out down to socks, bra, ironed scrubs, packed lunch/breakfast and Keurig cup with to-go coffee cup locked and loaded with Truvia packet made it happen!! Even turned on a cartoon for Connor lad. Got less than 5 minutes from home…engine light starts blinking…car starts bucking intermittently? Acceleration slowing…..another words fucking shitty car is dying…WTF. I am pissed; I keep going with the car now being definitively late, and being concerned about actually destroying the car. But I can’t call in yet at 5 weeks. So I limped into the parking lot with my dying car. I was already 3 minutes late. And my car, will I have to buy a car just when I thought I might be able to breathe 5 seconds financially. Will I never get ahead? Ugggggghhhhhhhhh….
5 steps later I hear tires screeching and crashing behind me and turn and see one car spinning out and one crashing into the Jersey barrier on Rte 95 South. Then other cars screeching to a halt just in time as they saw the predicament in the 2 high speed lanes. It took 10 seconds. The accident didn’t look so bad as to cause life threatening issues. But wow that is a much worse start to a day. And while not life threatening it could totally disrupt lives!
But it changed my attitude. I went in with a positive attitude centered on what’s important. My day went smoothly (it actually went less smoothly than most days…but it felt smoother) and I saw it is all perspective. Was I profiting off of someone else’s bad luck, or did I decide when a shit storm happens you might as well pick the flowers that grow out of it?